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The Pressure of Perfectionism + Knowing When To Hold Them & Fold Them

Ever since I can remember, I’ve always been a perfectionist.

I was the kid whose mom made sure the barets in her hair matched her socks, and of course the entire ensemble was based off a color scheme from the outfit at hand. Every hair in place, clothes ironed to a tee. In school, I was the kid who worked tirelessly to ensure that I not only understood the material, but could articulate it back perfectly and seamlessly when the exam came. Whenever I performed under expectation, I’d beat myself up.

Now as an adult, as someone who understands certain aspects of mental health, awareness of the mind, and what our triggers are that come back to haunt us as adults, I’ve realized that perfectionism stems from a fear that who you are, if you are not perfect, is not good enough. For the past two years as I’ve really taken the plunge into entrepreneurship, working on TheBlondeMisfit, and pushing past all my fears of being in front of the public eye while talking about the issues that matter to me, I’ve had to learn that perfectionism is a barrier against my success, not for it. Now, if things don’t go right 100% of the time, I don’t have to beat myself up. And in fact, the strange things that make me different, even if I don’t think they had to this idea of a pristine and perfect image, these are the things that make me shine and make things so authentic. My locs, by no means, are perfect. They stand u in photos, they are always all over the place, and the sizing leaves much to be desired. But one thing I can say is they are mine, and that I love them. If a shirt isn’t perfectly ironed, or if an accident occurs while speaking on stage, then so what?IMG-5374

So, why am I sharing these things with you guys? In life, we will see to be perfect at something. In a relationship, at our craft, amongst our friends. There’s something about someone who always has it together, always gets it right, and never misses a beat. However, that’s just not the way life is, and that’s okay! Embrace the moments as they come, and live in a way that nobody can deny that who you are is the best you you are ever going to be. By striving to be perfect, you stand in your own way because you will always forego doing something, saying something, or being your purpose-filled self trying to ensure you don’t mess up. You won’t publish that piece, you won’t go on that date, you won’t create or set a new trend if you’re always worried about failure. So you might as well recklessly pursue whoever you are, trust me, someone out there is going to love it just the way it is!

With that being said, sometimes, you have to know when it’s time to hold and fold your mind. As an entrepreneur, there will be times I mess up, I fall, I trip, and I have to make hard decisions for. There is no one route that’s been mapped out for me and my journey, so one can’t expect everything to be perfect. So take each day as it comes, be okay with making mistakes (that includes people, places and things), learn from every experience, and do your best always.

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