I have a fun secret to share: I have never had a (formal) mentor.
Despite this fact that some could see as a major drawback for my career, I’ve still — at least by my own account — accomplished a lot by the age of 30. However, one of the most frequent questions I receive from younger, aspiring fashion or beauty creators is: Do I need a mentor to succeed?
The ‘buzziness’ of mentorship
Mentorship has become a buzzword in recent years, particularly in industries like fashion, beauty, and lifestyle categories. Many successful individuals in these industries have attributed their career growth to the guidance and support they received from a mentor. Take André Leon Talley, arguably one of the most prominent voices of fashion in the 20th and 21st century, who often spoke of Diana Vreeland’s impact on him as a mentor. In 2020, before his passing, OFf-White founder and chief creative director, Virgil Abloh, launched Free Game, a resource center filled with a catalog of interviews by Abloh’s personal heroes, including graphic designer Peter Saville.
However, some individuals question whether mentorship is truly necessary for career success in these fields. Besides, how does one even “find” a mentor without feeling like a random burden to a more senior person?
What is mentorship?
First and foremost, it’s important to define what mentorship is. Mentorship is a relationship between a more experienced and knowledgeable individual (the mentor) and a less experienced individual (the mentee). The mentor provides guidance, support, and advice to the mentee, often sharing their experiences and knowledge to help them navigate their career path. But it doesn’t stop there: A mentee also has, at least to me, an obligation to add something of value back to the mentor. After all, you wouldn’t want someone who just takes from you and never pours back into your cup, right?
Mentorship in fashion
Mentorship can be particularly valuable in the fashion, beauty, and lifestyle industries. These industries are highly competitive, and having a mentor who can provide insight into the industry and offer guidance on how to succeed can be incredibly helpful. Mentors can also provide introductions to key industry players and help mentees network and build their professional contacts.
The idea of nepotism — the practice among those with power or influence of favoring relatives, friends, or associates, especially by giving them jobs — is still alive and well in these industries. For many people, their initial start in the industry is based on who they know and who can help them ascend. When you have a mentor, they often help you avoid many of the pitfalls they themselves fell in at one point or another.
Furthermore, mentorship can help individuals develop skills that are necessary for success in these industries. For example, a mentor may help a mentee develop their communication and networking skills, provide guidance on how to negotiate salaries and contracts, and offer advice on how to balance work and personal life.
The dark side of Mentorship
Now that I’ve listed all the ways mentorship can help you, let’s talk about some of the ways it’s still a challenging spectrum. First, while I mentioned the power of nepotism, it’s also a dangerous place to operate from, especially if you can’t “relate” to anyone else in the room.
Take, for example, one of the first jobs I got out of college (I intentionally am leaving names out of it). When I eagerly joined the team, I quickly realized that not only was I the only person of color on that team, but I was also the only person who had not been afforded the luxury of taking $10 internships because my parents could foot my NYC rent.
Particularly for marginalized communities, mentorship in a very white, affluent-saturated market is HARD. Many Black and brown people may not have access to the same networks as their white counterparts. Many mentorship opportunities in the fashion industry arise from personal connections and relationships, and if Black and brown people are not part of the same social circles as established professionals, they may struggle to find mentors who can help them advance in their careers.
Take into account other factors such as unconscious biases (like the time I had an editor ask me to write ALL the Black hair content for the site) and discrimination (I remember an editor telling me she already had a Black girl on her staff so that’s why she wouldn’t hire me), and there’s a lot to unpack.
Mentorship is not a guarantee for success.
While mentorship, if attained, can be very helpful to someone’s career, I think it’s important to note that mentorship is not a guarantee of success. Ultimately, the success of an individual’s career depends on a combination of factors, including hard work, talent, and luck. Even with a mentor, it’s still up to the individual to put in the effort to succeed. So often I saw people who floundered after their mentor left their position or role. Here’s my largest tip: Never bank your entire career on any individual person. It’s YOUR career, and you need to put in the work.
So what can I do?
Mentorship can help individuals navigate the competitive landscape, develop necessary skills, and build important professional relationships. Additionally, having a mentor can provide a source of motivation and inspiration, helping you stay focused and committed to their career goals.
But while mentorship is a great step, also focusing on building SPONSORS into your Rolodex will get you far. Remember at the beginning of this post, I said that I had never had a formal mentor? Well, I have to say that I attest a lot of the career development I’ve gleaned on two things: 1) Identifying people in my industry that I wanted to mirror and studying them, even from afar; 2) Cultivating relationships with people who could be a sponsor for me and speak my name in rooms I wasn’t in.
I highly suggest everyone read the amazing book, “Forget a Mentor, Find a Sponsor”, to better understand the difference between the two and how you can start identifying the sponsors of your life at any point in your career.
I’m so thankful for those who have stood in the gap for me throughout my career. I attest so much of who I am, and who I am becoming on those silent sponsors and informal mentors of my life. So, don’t get discouraged if you haven’t found your perfect mentor yet. It’s a piece of your chapter but not your whole story!
FYI, I did a whole episode of mentorship on TheBlondeMisfit podcast. Check it out if you’re into podcasts, and let me know in the comments who some of your mentors or sponsors have been!
