Never in a million years would I have ever thought I’d actually end up in New York. It wasn’t the fact that I didn’t have the resources to survive or necessarily felt I wouldn’t be able to find a job. I was, moreorless, surprised that one day, I would finally take the plunge and jump into the unknown. The world of adulting, hard knocks, but most importantly, finding my purpose, was one that slightly terrified me. What if I failed? Or what if I succeeded?
I have always loved to smile and laugh. My father’s the type of guy whose laugh will resonate and fill an entire restaurant; a laugh that will travel down the street. It’s an unapologetic laugh I procured from a young age– a laugh that has often times been a deciding factor in many of the people I hang with or even date (if you can’t laugh, we might not end up well together). I love to be around other people who embrace life and smile themselves. To me, a smile says more than words ever can; all I knew was that I wanted to do something with my life that could put a smile on other people’s faces.
Now, things have not always been easy in finding my passion nor my purpose. I think we get the two mixed up or feel they are synonymous, when in fact, you can have multiple passions, yet your purpose on this Earth will remain the same. After attending Howard University where I was plunged into the world of black pride and the essence of Black Lives Matter, I knew that my purpose was to empower other women of color. Pair that with my love of fashion and beauty, and it became clear: I am here to empower others and advocate for women of color in the fashion and beauty realms. I give back to my communities by inspiring other women to walk unapologetically in their black girl magic.
I often get asked how does one find their “magic” or “purpose”. I always laugh when asked this question, simply because I reflect on all the wasted time I spent in my teenage years and early 20s trying to force the process. I wanted it to happen overnight– knowing what to do, excelling before everyone else, that ‘glo’ up. I feel these things happen organically, and these are sacred processes that should never be rushed. I will say, no matter how long it takes to find it, know that EVERYONE possesses something unique to themselves and everyone has a purpose in this world.
I think the problem is, 1) we feel we’re suppose to just come out the womb with answers, and 2) sometimes we feel other’s magic negates ours. Let me address the second point first: magic is not a negative paired with a positive number. Another person’s MAGIC does not take away or subtract value from what you put out. If more people understood that concept, I feel we’d have less “crab in a barrel” mentalities when addressing opportunities, and we’d have much more sisterly support in our communities and career objectives. If someone’s something is subtracting or taking away negatively from the good you are putting out, that’s not magic. It’s parasitic. Secondly, we’re not suppose to know everything as soon as we’re born. What then would be the point of life? Explore and learn every single day what your mission is. It’s exciting, challenging, humbling, and definitely fulfilling.
As I’ve grown to do much more writing (shoutout to the consistent posts I’ve been doing!) as well as working in the fashion industry, I’ve learned that speaking in public spaces also allows me to tap into my magic. Sharing with other young women what makes them unique, special, and downright badass, is not only inspiring to them, but to myself as well. What’s better than telling a 13 year old she can be the President of the United States if she just taps into what makes her unique? Or sharing with the 18 year old single teenage mom that you know what it’s like to suffer, but that God isn’t finished with her yet? These are the ways in which I give back and make a difference, one person at a time.
So, how do you find your magic? Start by first assessing what you’re good at and what brings you the most joy. What makes you different from others? What thing would you do every day, not get paid, and still absolutely love? One time, a friend of mine jokingly said she would eat. She laughed! I asked had she ever considered being a chef or food critic. Needless to say, her job now entails her traveling the country trying new dishes at opening restaurants! For free!
“If you need wisdom, ask God and he will give it to you. He will not rebuke you for asking”
James 1:5
Whatever it is you need to know from God, he will give you the answers. If you want to know your purpose in this life, ask him. Bam. Wait on his answer and don’t give him a time limit. You’ll know when it’s time to know.
I always struggle with telling people about your purpose being definite. For years, I wanted to go to Broadway and do musical theatre. I wanted to stand on a stage and “talk” to hundreds of people. My, my, my, how God works…While that was the desire for MY heart, it wasn’t necessarily what God wanted for me at the time. However, he still can honor your request. Nowadays, I DO stand on stages in front of hundreds of people, but the gag is I don’t have to recite memorized words. I get to create them.
What God has for you is for you, and when you allow yourself to bask in the fullness of whatever it is, you’ll find yourself with so much peace and understanding and happiness. I’ve encountered many “crabs” in my life; people who can’t find their own magic so they attempt to suck it from others and tear them down. Don’t give people the satisfaction of watching you crack because they have attempted to take your blessing from you (because the funny thing is…they can’t!). At your core is beauty and magic, and if anything, just pray that one day they too can find their own light. People in the dark will run for any light they see.
That’s my story and I’m sticking to it! Once you find your purpose in this world, it’s then your job to figure out how to use it for the “common good”, or so it can help and benefit other people. It’s really true that your life is not your own, but honestly, that’s definitely okay.
What is your passion and purpose on this earth? How are you helping others through your gifts and talents?
P.S. Some of the photos you’re seeing were taken as I spoke at a FiftyShadesofMagic event (my street style photos were taken by the fabulous Marta McAdams). Talking in front of high school students was certainly nerve-wrecking, but it felt so good to help inspire some young woman out there to walk and explore in what makes her magical.
